thoughts credulities and conclusions

It is the last day here at Rising str for Meg and I. Break time for the volunteers, and yet I find myself not wanting to take a break today. It feels like Iam lying to myself saying, that it is the last day. I packed last night so that today I can spend as much time with the kids as possible. Doing so much just to stay here and do as much as I can. I have been giving my all everyday to the best I can, and I still feel it is not enough. I guess that is just how it is at the end of something incredible. As I have always done I am writing what will be my last post about Rising Star for this year at least, and maybe even for this trip, entitling it "thoughts crdulities and conclusions. I do this partially as a tradition, but moreso as that is what I always to. I write my thoughts the credulities of the whole, and the conclusions I have drawn from it all. I have butterflies in my stomach just writing the three words cause I know what it means.
THOUGHTS:
Love is givng your all to another without expecting back. A moment, t ime as it always does, passes to memory, taking lfight like a dove. butterflies in your stomach at the end bring tears of love, joy, and still sadness at the end of something great. Our Greates friends are made in the hardest moments, and times of life, and are kept by experiencing with them more of what I believe should just be called life, not hard times, or trials but life, and happiness, proving us to the end. Love can never be measured by any instrument, because it would never be great or big enough to accurately do its job. Love grows to fast, and is never ending, like the big band theory, it just keeps expanding as we allow, letting in more people as we serve them, and experience life with them. The tears in my eyes may water this computer to damage. the Priesthood is incredible and a reality on earth when righteous men weild it. Indian people as many in third world countries find the happiness we all seek simply in family and friends, and the touch of love by others.

CREDULITIES:
This is the part where I right sensible logical truths of this trip. The greatest moments, the greatest things. Are you ready? alright Lets go....
In the last three weeks of my life I have made friends that I hope would never cease to be my friends. We share something so special and it is so simple...just our experience here. It is sad that I can not take this place with me, all the way to America, but I would not want to anyway. It is a magical place with something special, and that is the hand of God in the work that is done. How else could one explain that volunteers always seem to just find out, and come. Many of us here right now at one point or another felt very strongly that we needed to be here, and that it is now our duty to spread to others. I know that Heavenly Father is in so much of what we do, but here I feel especially to change the lives of India for the better. So many of the kids here are bright, intelligent people. In their eyes I seriously can see the future leaders of this country, that can prove that even from leprosy affected colonies and families, Heavenly Father can raise up many amazing people to do his work ont his earth.
Last night my boys tried so hard to get me to promise to come back. They bugged me and bugged me (actually bug is the wrong word), they just were persistent with their opinion. I guess I willbe coming back and hopefully sooner than later. Mom Dad if you are reading this, this would be one of the greatest family trips you could ever bring us on. No matter what I think I will just make it happen, because I have fallen in love with this place. We took some great pictures, but th best were the hugs last night. Even then they were hugging me like it was the last time they would see me for a long long time. They hug with everything they have, and are not held back by suspiscion, or doubt. They have so much trust, and are like children spoken of in the scriptures. I will never forget those hugs last night, and I cant wait to feel them again tonight. I am even goingn to wake up early to go eat breakfast with them in the morning, because I will still need to see them one last time.
One of the greatest moments, though is realizing that one of the reasons I am here is for a boy named Karthik who is older, and a pretty big kid. I think he is sixteen. He is so quiet and reserved. Kind and gentle, but just never spoke to many people. I spoke to him a few times, and we have a deep bond. on the bus rides to church he always had me sit with him, and would lay his head on my shoulder and lap, and always hold my hand. (Men here hold hands as a sign of great friendship, and brotherly love. Homosexuality is not eve recognized here.) He always gives me the biggest smiles, and always comes to talk to me. sometimes I still have to go out of my way to talk to him, because the other kids compete very hardcore for my attention. But his smile, and that moment when I realized I will never forget.
Here among many with nothing and yet everything I have found happiness. Parallell only tom my mission this whole experience is. Yet, maybe due to my maturation, maybe because I have expereinced my mission already, this almost seems deeper in some ways. But the key to happiness was once again thrust into my mind, and that is that Service=Charity. If you serve someone else, you will love them. Deeper and Deeper each time you lift a foot to brush off the dirt, each time you hold a frightened feverish boy in your arms, each time you spend every last ounce of energy tutoring and playing with a child, each time you reach out your hand, and touch the hand of one who has not ever even dreamed that they would feel that warmth again it grows still deeper. That is why love can never be measured, nor will it ever be, unless you stop serving. In that moment it can be measured and weighed, to find you wanting.
I am not sure if everything I write makes sense to everyone who reads this, but that is partially because my stomach is about to burst in butterflies, and my tears are about to drown me. But dont worry I am a good swimmer.

CONCLUSIONS:
I have had the greates three weeks of my life here. I am not afraid to say that. It is a conclusion. I came here as Griffin Mansell, I leave as Griffin Mansell, but that person with the same name, is changed all the better. I will never be again who I was when I came out here, and I will never be again tomorrow who I am right now. Each Day brings a change in some way. It is inevitble, and the last three weeks each day, has brought a better change in me. but 21 betters together, and then you have who I am in this moment, but still not who I will be tomorrow. Tomorrow there will be a chance to make that 22 or to make it still 21, but add 1 to a different part of me, perhpas the selfish part or something. It is my choice, and everybodys choice. The Greatest Conclusion, and realization that has come to me in the last three weeks is this: Heavenly Father LOVES ALL his children, no matter race, gender, background, religion, and had created us in his church to show that to everyone else, either by teaching them the gospel or by showing them. Both begin to accomplish his work and design!!!! I love India with all my heart, and these have been my thoughts credulities and conclusions.

-Grif